I have a long history of breaking only the most expensive things. It all started when I was a child and I accidentally tripped, hitting my dad’s new television and knocking it off of the tv stand. It broke. I was in big trouble. And life went on like that for a long time, me breaking things and getting into trouble. I drove my friend’s car into a tree. I knocked a meat slicer off the shelf at work and had to pay for the Globe meat slicer parts. And I broke my neighbor’s window with a baseball, even though it was a foam baseball! No matter what, I seem to always break something whether I mean to or not.

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